The Goat’s Voice

COMING SEPTEMBER 14, 2018

“For fifty years I have been planning the moment of my escape, and the wind has brought me to your door.”

The wizard Deifilia arrives unannounced with bad news: Pernilla has been chosen to start the revolution.

Pernilla agrees that slavery is wrong, but she believes revolution is best left to the professionals. She is a simple farmer who is content living a simple life with her goat. This “Chosen One” business is utter nonsense.

But when her goat starts talking, her destiny is hard to ignore.

Can a woman and her goat truly change the course of history?

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Happy Hollydays! Now Available

HAPPY HOLLYDAYS!
A Collection of Celebratory Poppycock

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Whether it’s the guardian dog of the underworld, or a massive beast waiting to eat you, you have to know that a big black dog is bad news on Halloween. What you might not have realized is that Hades is a reasonable guy, and rabbits don’t, in fact, wear scarves.

Valentine’s Day isn’t just for romance; it’s also for summoning your favourite demons. Christmas is a time for family, but it’s also a time for exploring alternate origins of Santa Claus and a time for reindeer to learn about morality. Oh, and cookies. It’s time for a buttload of cookies.

Traditional Halloween horrors and Christmas joy are mixed with April Fool’s jokes and Christmas murder (among other things) to produce this collection of short stories sure to make you thankful for your own less outrageous traditions.

A Plethora of Poor Decisions – Now Available!

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A PLETHORA OF POOR DECISIONS
And Other Tales of Misadventure

Dearest Raymond,
This letter must remain confidential. I will begin with Lord Bonbon’s confession.
“It’s not even a
good curse,” he said.

Is there a monster living in your garage? Is there a portal in your room you’d rather avoid? Do weddings fill you with ferocious feelings? Are you a spoiled former pop star who has lost your appeal? Are you on an ongoing quest to uncover buried treasure?

Good news: You’re not alone! (You should do something about that portal, though.)

In this dudetastic collection of shorts, hopeless characters make all the wrong choices – whether they realize it or not.

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A Plethora of Poor Decisions – Coming August 16!

On August 16, 2016…

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A PLETHORA OF POOR DECISIONS
And Other Tales of Misadventure

Dearest Raymond,
This letter must remain confidential. I will begin with Lord Bonbon’s confession.
“It’s not even a
good curse,” he said.

Is there a monster living in your garage? Is there a portal in your room you’d rather avoid? Do weddings fill you with ferocious feelings? Are you a spoiled former pop star who has lost your appeal? Are you on an ongoing quest to uncover buried treasure?

Good news: You’re not alone! (You should do something about that portal, though.)

In this dudetastic collection of shorts, hopeless characters make all the wrong choices – whether they realize it or not.

The Dragon’s Unhatched Offspring – Now Available!

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THE DRAGON’S UNHATCHED OFFSPRING:

Brogan and Teagan Finnaly didn’t have to wander far to find trouble. Their battle with Alesstros is over, but it seems that some of his monsters remain. Collin, plagued by almost-memories of the evil sorcerer, and Neal (his loving boyfriend) agree that the monsters must be stopped. Melinda’s always game for a fight, and Kaylan believes he’s the centre of the universe therefore no journey can proceed without him.

That’s when death strikes.

Now Brogan is stuck in Rappa investigating a murder and searching for a missing egg. The Finnaly mansion is crowded with people, but who are the suspects? Where is the thief? And just how much cake can a baby eat?

The answers to these questions, and more, in The Dragon’s Unhatched  Offspring!

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Which Way is Left? available now!

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Which Way is Left?
A print exclusive, with colour illustrations by Ethaniel Ritchot.

Olive has nine tickets to the sold out Cylindrical Sludge concert in Nightmare City. Finding eight friends won’t be difficult; she’ll start with her best friend Daniel, the organizer extraordinaire. A road trip with friends seems like the perfect way to spend the summer before college, even if she does have to bring her brother along.

What Olive doesn’t realize is that old rivalries, new enmity, and the occasional bout of motion sickness may just ruin the trip for everyone.

Which Way is Left? has a glorious cast of diverse teenagers who poke fun at teenage tropes while also including a spectrum of gender identities.

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(And don’t forget, The Dragon’s Unhatched Offspring is out on May 17!)

Announcement – The Finnaly Trio Trilogy #2

The Finnaly brothers and their friends thought the adventure was over, but as you know from the epilogue, there are some loose ends that need tying (and Teagan still needs to find True Love)!

The Finnaly Trio Trilogy: Because everything in a trilogy.

If you haven’t read The Dragon’s Toenail  you can click the handy link.

Now, without further ado, I hereby announce…

May 17, 2016: The Finnaly Trio Triology #2

THE DRAGON’S UNHATCHED OFFSPRING

Brogan and Teagan Finnaly didn’t have to wander far to find trouble. Their battle with Alesstros is over, but it seems that some of his monsters remain. Collin, plagued by almost-memories of the evil sorcerer, and Neal (his loving boyfriend) agree that the monsters must be stopped. Melinda’s always game for a fight, and Kaylan believes he’s the centre of the universe therefore no journey can proceed without him.

That’s when death strikes.

Now Brogan is stuck in Rappa investigating a murder and searching for a missing egg. The Finnaly mansion is crowded with people, but who are the suspects? Where is the thief? And just how much cake can a baby eat?

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This gorgeous cover is once again by the fantastic Ethaniel Ritchot.

A Pun Announcement

If you’re keeping track, you may have noticed some stories disappearing from this blog. It’s not because I’m ashamed, and it’s not because I don’t love you.

I’m pleased to announce my next book; a short (and cheap!) collection of groan-inducing fiction: Once Upun a Time.

I have compiled 38 of my favourite flash and short fictions, and made revisions; some small, and some large. Some have been expanded, some have been changed from their original format, but all retain their original eye-rolling twists. I have butchered fantasy, urban fantasy, science-fiction, and contemporary fiction; there are groans here for everyone!

My expected publication date is December 1, 2015 (just in time for the holidays!)

Once Upun a Time contains a little mature language and a heckuva a lot of immature humour. I hope you will enjoy it!

The Dragon’s Toenail – Now Available!

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The Finnaly Trio Trilogy #1
The Dragon’s Toenail

When Teagan Finnaly’s girlfriend is kidnapped by slave traders, he demands to be allowed to go after her. Older brother Brogan, Knight of the King, leads the expedition through Hell and high water – and a dragon too.

With middle brother Kaylan, Teagan’s bodyguard Neal, and the handsome barkeeper Collin along for the ride, they must fight their way to Fragaria and rescue Ashlyn before it’s too late. All may not be as it seems, however, for as the chimera quoted to Brogan:

“When the dragon flies again, The Three shall unite and conquer all!”

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The Dragon’s Toenail – Cover Reveal!

THE DRAGON’S TOENAIL:

When Teagan Finnaly’s girlfriend is kidnapped by slave traders, he demands to be allowed to go after her. Older brother Brogan, Knight of the King, leads the expedition through Hell and high water – and a dragon too.

With middle brother Kaylan, Teagan’s bodyguard Neal, and the handsome bartender Collin along for the ride, they must fight their way to Fragaria and rescue Ashlyn before it’s too late. All may not be as it seems, however, for as the chimera quoted Brogan:

“When the dragon flies again, The Three shall unite and conquer all!”

Can Teagan defeat his clumsiness and survive the journey? Will Neal ever get a date? Will Brogan ever stop being so full of himself?

The answers to these questions, and more, in The Dragon’s Toenail; a book dedicated to making you laugh, groan, and roll your eyes. (Warning: It may or may not make you want a pet goblin.)

THE COVER:

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This gorgeous cover was designed by Ellustration (the mastermind behind my Holly Berries logo).  I freakin’ love orange! I’m also happy to reveal that there will be a few illustrations in the book, also by the talented Ethaniel.

Stay tuned for more The Dragon’s Toenail news!

Remember, the eight free chapters of The Dragon’s Toenail available on this blog will be gone on August 21, 2015. Editing has changed some of the minor details. Read ’em while they’re there!