Summary of C4 2018

THE GOOD

This year they added a DJ and karaoke, which are both big pluses for me.  I had to quit voice lessons a few years back due to financial reasons (that, and the lessons were honestly useless, given that I only performed once a year at their recital and didn’t use the training for anything else) and I miss singing! There’s talk of a karaoke night, I’m hoping early in the new year, but people are hard to manage…

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The Goat’s Voice

COMING SEPTEMBER 14, 2018

“For fifty years I have been planning the moment of my escape, and the wind has brought me to your door.”

The wizard Deifilia arrives unannounced with bad news: Pernilla has been chosen to start the revolution.

Pernilla agrees that slavery is wrong, but she believes revolution is best left to the professionals. She is a simple farmer who is content living a simple life with her goat. This “Chosen One” business is utter nonsense.

But when her goat starts talking, her destiny is hard to ignore.

Can a woman and her goat truly change the course of history?

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Now Available – IN POOR TASTE

Revenge. Murder. Betrayal. Practical jokes.
Toilet humour.
Hideous punchlines.

Welcome to a collection of Holly Geely’s groan-inducing short fiction.

Ogres become chefs. Minor gods fall to Earth for bathroom infractions. Santa Claus gets what’s coming to him.

Flower puns.

The best (worst?) part is that it’s all In Poor Taste.

This anthology includes Opal Gemima Marigold and the Death of Poor Winston, a formerly ebook-only adventure.

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Coming Soon – New Anthology, “In Poor Taste”

In Poor Taste
A Collection of Short Fiction Which Can Only Be Described as “The Opposite of a Masterpiece”

Revenge. Murder. Betrayal. Practical jokes.
Toilet humour.
Hideous punchlines.

Welcome to a collection of Holly Geely’s groan-inducing short fiction.

Ogres become chefs. Minor gods fall to Earth for bathroom infractions. Santa Claus gets what’s coming to him.

Flower puns.

The best (worst?) part is that it’s all In Poor Taste.

This anthology includes Opal Gemima Marigold and the Death of Poor Winston, a formerly ebook-only adventure.

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Now Available – The Dragon’s Attempt at Revenge

“When the dragon flies again, The Three shall unite and conquer all!”

Both the chimera and Alesstros have quoted the so-called prophecy. The battle with Alesstros is over (again) and The Three were defeated (right?). The prophecy was garbage. The purple dragon doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Does he?

Meanwhile, Collin wants Neal to meet his parents. Neal has faced trials, but nothing as painful as in-laws. Brogan the Knight Wanderer never passes on a journey, and before anyone can argue, the gang is back together and on the road to Tournefortii.

Between wedding plans and revenge plots, the Finnalys and their adopted family are bound to land neck-deep in a steaming pile of trouble – which is where Teagan spends most of his time anyway.

The dramatic conclusion to the Finnaly Trio Trilogy will answer the most important question:

Why is it always poop?

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The Little Book of Inappropriate Morals

Stories That Aren’t Helpful At All

AVAILABLE APRIL 4!

We talked for a while, until he stumbled off to parts unknown. I was filled with a new sense of purpose that would not manifest itself until I was older (and stronger).

I never saw the old man again, but I never forgot him. I meant it when I said he was my hero. He still is. Meeting him inspired me to become who I am today.

I made my vow there on the park bench while the old man sobbed into his paper bag.

The short stories in this collection will not teach you anything. They will not assist with moral dilemmas. They will not tuck you in at night. They will not do your laundry or take you to the movies.

Within you will find – among other things – examples of poor role models, romances gone wrong, and fables with morals you almost recognize. Mysteries will be solved (at what cost?) and prisoners will be…well, imprisoned. Obviously.

These stories will not help you – unless what you’re really looking for is a good laugh.

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The Latest from Holly Geely

Two things: a new short story available for purchase (murder mystery genre parody) and Which Way is Left? is now available as an eBook.

NEW SHORT STORY!!! SILLINESS, MURDER, AN OLD LADY!!!

Opal Gemima Marigold and the Death of Poor Winston

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When Opal Gemima Marigold hears that her old friend Winston was murdered, nothing can keep her from the case. There is no danger too great nor any detective too stubborn to stop this retired ballon-stretcher/ex-mercenary/part-time janitor/doily-maker.

Time is of the essence as a string of murders follows (naturally the killer didn’t stop at one) and Opal must determine the most important thing:

Who would want to kill poor Winston?

And the eBook:

Which Way is Left

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Olive has nine tickets to the sold out Cylindrical Sludge concert in Nightmare City.  A road trip with friends seems like the perfect way to spend the summer before college, even if she does have to bring her brother along.

What Olive doesn’t realize is that old rivalries, new enmity, and the occasional bout of motion sickness may just ruin the trip for everyone.

Which Way is Left? has a glorious cast of diverse teenagers who poke fun at teenage tropes while also including a spectrum of gender identities.

With extra delightful colour illustrations by Ethaniel Ritchot.

 

A Pun Announcement

If you’re keeping track, you may have noticed some stories disappearing from this blog. It’s not because I’m ashamed, and it’s not because I don’t love you.

I’m pleased to announce my next book; a short (and cheap!) collection of groan-inducing fiction: Once Upun a Time.

I have compiled 38 of my favourite flash and short fictions, and made revisions; some small, and some large. Some have been expanded, some have been changed from their original format, but all retain their original eye-rolling twists. I have butchered fantasy, urban fantasy, science-fiction, and contemporary fiction; there are groans here for everyone!

My expected publication date is December 1, 2015 (just in time for the holidays!)

Once Upun a Time contains a little mature language and a heckuva a lot of immature humour. I hope you will enjoy it!

Ramblings about Reading

My dad taught me to read with Berenstain Bear books. I had a huge stack of them, but unfortunately my mother gave them to my cousins when they were young. I suppose it’s best for children to have children’s books, but I am possessive of my things, particularly my books. I made a catalogue of all the books in my library and I think it’s around 800, but that includes my husband’s as well. That does include some of my childhood favourites, but alas, many are gone.

I read a lot in elementary and high school. We didn’t have the internet, I didn’t watch much TV, and though I remember hours spent on the Super Nintendo books were my passion. I read The Lord of the Rings (J.R.R. Tolkien) because my friends were reading it, and I remember being embarrassed because I thought it was dull. Good times. We used to go shopping as a family a lot, because there wasn’t a lot to do where we lived, and when the parents were buying a treat I choose a book.

I kicked the habit of writing my name in every book I buy, but it still makes me smile when I open a book and see it there. Last weekend I bought a book at a charity sale specifically because it had writing on the inside cover. There was a name, which I can’t recall at the moment (and it’s all the way upstairs) and then it said “Love Nana, in 1966.” I can’t believe anyone would get rid of something so precious, but don’t worry Nana – I will love the book. It’s an old copy of The Wind in the Willows, which I definitely should have read by now.

A few years back I went on a classics-reading kick. My definition of “classics” may have been loose, but I think I did all right. I read Gormenghast (Mervyn Peake), A Clockwork Orange (Anthony Burgess), Lolita (Vladimir Nabokov), The Man in the Iron Mask (Alexandre Dumas), and probably others. I still pick up a book now and again for the sake of reading a “classic” but fantasy and sci-fi have long been my favourites. I like vast worlds filled with countless hours of escape, and compelling characters with interesting problems.

Several months I began a hunt for gay and lesbian theme sci-fi and fantasy. It was disappointing at first because I kept running into the smut books, but I’ve found a few gems. The Fire’s Stone by Tanya Huff has become and will remain one of my favourite books of all time. Swordspoint and subsequent books in that universe by Ellen Kushner were very compelling. The search led me to Robin Hobb, who is of course amazing.

The drawback of this mission is that I have a pile of about sixty books to read. I tried to stick with the list, but when I go to these charity sales I go a little bit crazy. I know you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but at $2.00 with proceeds going to the children’s hospital, what have I got to lose? It’s even more fun when my brother comes along and picks out the silliest-sounding ones. Sometimes they end up being charming, like Little Fuzzy (H. Beam Piper).

Have you ever read a book because you thought you should (not necessarily because someone told you to, but perhaps that as well)? Do you have a preferred genre? Is there a genre that constantly disappoints you, but that you’d really like to love?

I know people who rarely, if ever, pick up a book. I don’t understand, and I don’t want to.