This story will appear in Holly’s anthology In Poor Taste, due out in 2018!
It’s national hat day!
PETUNIA THORGRUB’S DECLARATION OF WAR
The smoking hole in Petunia Thorgrub’s top hat was the final straw. She threw the ruined headgear in the dust and whirled on her assailant with all the fury of a long line of Thorgrubs.
She could not see the assassin, but based on the trajectory of the bullet, they were hiding atop the roof of the building.
“Come down from there and fight me face to face!” Petunia cried. There was no response. “Who sent you? Was it Mulberry?” She needed to know where to send the bill for the decimated topper.
A small piece of paper attached to a parachute drifted into the street. Petunia kept her eyes on the roof while she knelt to pick it up.
This is only the beginning. Everything you love will be destroyed.
Petunia recognized Mulberry’s distinctive handwriting. His words were infuriating. She could understand her arch-nemesis having her killed, but to murder an innocent top hat (and, if his threat meant anything, everything she loved – including her precious collection of dryer lint, oh and probably her family), well, to murder an innocent top hat was nothing short of evil.
“Damn you, Mulberry! This means war!” Petunia cried.
The streets remained silent as the top hat sank into the dust.