ME: I don’t subscribe to this whole gluten-free fad, it doesn’t make sense unless you have Celiac disease. I don’t believe in any fad diets. Blah blah blah.
TRAINER: So based on your body type, food history/food diary/symptoms, etc. your enemies are wheat and dairy.
TRAINER: Don’t eliminate, replace. You can have rice pasta and almond milk. Also, you should avoid potatoes and replace them with yams.
TRAINER: And here are eleventy billion vitamins you should take.
ME:…did you say no wheat?
TRAINER: You’ll feel better, trust me.
ME: WHY IS THIS HAPPENING
He was right, though. My stomach no longer seems to hate me. The no dairy thing is fine because I’ve never liked milk anyway and milk is delicious, but my previous diet basically consisted of pasta and bread and now I’m eating beef and more beef, jeesh.