The Same Size as Last Year
SHOP PERSON: How’s it fitting in there?
ME: *gasp* perfectly *wheeze*
It’s All About Numbers
INTERNET: Win a trip for you and 20 friends!
ME: I don’t even know twenty people…
INTERNET: Ouch. Sorry.
FRIEND: So what are you up to this weekend?
ME: Pretty busy, doing some laundry and giving the dog a bath. I might even read a book but that depends on how long groceries take. You?
FRIEND: I’m going on my yearly holiday to everywhere you can’t afford.
ME: … Bring me chocolate.
Lunch or Rabbit Food?
COWORKER: Whoa, look at that healthy lunch!
ME: I ALWAYS EAT HEALTHY WHO WERE YOU TALKING TO