when I get home from work

DEXTER (husky): Oh hey, I’m glad you’re home, now Dad can take me for a walk

ROBBIE (chihuhua): *runs outside* OH MY GOD IT’S YOU I’M SO HAPPY *jumps* *flips* *pees*

CRINGER (tabby): meooooow. meooooOOOOOw. MEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!

JILL (calico): Ugh. It’s you. *pause* I require immediate feeding.

CRINGER: feeeeEEEEEEED uuuUUSSSS

ROBBIE: YEEEEAAAAH CAT FOOOD LET ME AT IT I KNOW I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO BUT I REALLY LIKE PISSING OFF THE CATS HAHAHAHA COME ON MA PICK ME UP I WANT YOU TO PICK ME UP LOOK AT MY TOY THROW IT FOR ME YESSSS

HUSKY: Geez, are we going yet?

HUSBAND: Jill just took a massive shit in the tub and there’s cat puke somewhere and I think Robbie peed on your shoes

ME: Ah yes, it’s good to be home.

One thought on “when I get home from work

  1. TanGental April 12, 2016 / 4:31 am

    I can so relate. The indifference of cats second only to the ingratitude of the tortoise

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