DEXTER (husky): Oh hey, I’m glad you’re home, now Dad can take me for a walk
ROBBIE (chihuhua): *runs outside* OH MY GOD IT’S YOU I’M SO HAPPY *jumps* *flips* *pees*
CRINGER (tabby): meooooow. meooooOOOOOw. MEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!
JILL (calico): Ugh. It’s you. *pause* I require immediate feeding.
CRINGER: feeeeEEEEEEED uuuUUSSSS
ROBBIE: YEEEEAAAAH CAT FOOOD LET ME AT IT I KNOW I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO BUT I REALLY LIKE PISSING OFF THE CATS HAHAHAHA COME ON MA PICK ME UP I WANT YOU TO PICK ME UP LOOK AT MY TOY THROW IT FOR ME YESSSS
HUSKY: Geez, are we going yet?
HUSBAND: Jill just took a massive shit in the tub and there’s cat puke somewhere and I think Robbie peed on your shoes
ME: Ah yes, it’s good to be home.