The internet is a scary place where your browser uses delicious desserts to tell large companies where to find you so they can extract money straight from your veins. Online ads are strange things that people complain about, at yet they let us have free games like that one where you put down toys and cats show up. These are important games, and it’s important that they stay free.
So I’ll put up with the ads, even though they can get pretty creepy.
We thought you’d like this t-shirt! “I’m a [province I lived in 15 years ago] living in a [city I live in now even though I don’t show it on my Facebook] world!
Other times, they haven’t got a friggin’ clue.
Click here for weight loss tips from a grandma who avoided becoming wrinkly by drinking the tears of children!
I’m not interested in miracle weight cures. I’m not interested in avoiding wrinkles. I’m going to earn every one of those bad boys.
I’ll be honest, though – I get a little offended if it’s weight loss ad after weight loss ad. What are you trying to tell me, internet? HUH?!
Get rich quick!
No thanks. I’d prefer to get rich slowly.
Need a job? Apply with Blahbitty Blew today!
I have a job, but that might have been genuinely helpful if I didn’t. Thanks, ad, I think –
We thought you’d like this! *link to article about foot fungus*
Hi Holly! Why don’t you check out *random clothes website* or *random sandwich-worship website*?
Why are those things together? What is –
Hi Holly! We noticed that you purchased cream for your bizarre rash eight years ago and that you recently purchased a DVD about frogs, we would now like to suggest that you purchase this documentary about the religious significance of cheese wheels.
I was trying to forget about that rash, thank you very much, nor am I interested in cheese, so –
Click here to buy sexy underwear! XXX!!!
Hahahahaha! No. Oh, internet ads. Sometimes you don’t know me at all.