Things I wanted to be when I grew up

  1. Teacher
    The first time I recall being asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?” was on paper in third grade. My first answer was “a teacher.” I have to assume this is because I was sucking up. Perhaps, at 8, I didn’t know how much I would come to loathe children.
  2. Author
    My second choice on that form was author, and that, at least, still holds some appeal. I’ve even self-published a couple of books, so I hope past me is proud. I have a long way to go before I can think about “fame” and “fortune” but past me is just going to have to wait.
  3. Important Business Executive
    I never had a title in mind, but I thought I wanted to wear suits all the time and hold meetings were I could make slideshow presentations and point at things. I was going to be important. I didn’t realize the true happiness and harmony of being a grunt. I can wear jeans and avoid dealing with people. It’s so good.
  4. Accountant
    I’m a bookkeeper, so I came close, I just didn’t go through the grueling years at university where I knew I would crash and burn. “Everyone fails the first time,” my accounting teacher told us gleefully. “Oh, f*** no,” I said…Thankfully not out loud.
  5. A rock star and/or on Broadway
    The problem with musical theatre is that I can’t dance. (Nor do I have any training or experience but let me roll with it.) I wouldn’t make it as a rock star because I don’t actually want to be the kind of famous where people take pictures of my face all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I like my face, but I also like being in charge of which stupid pictures of my face get posted on the internet.
  6. The Pirate King
    I’m not giving up on this one. I mean, I’m technically adult, but I haven’t “grown up” yet (does that ever actually happen, or is that just something the teachers said to scare us into doing our homework?). It is, it is, a glorious thing, to be a pirate king…Except for the general lack of hygiene. Okay, I guess I have given up on this dream, but I’d still wear the outfit and sing the song.

    What did you want to be when you grew up? Did you come close?


One thought on “Things I wanted to be when I grew up

  1. Carrie Rubin February 12, 2016 / 2:42 pm

    Well, you might not end up a pirate king, but you can write lots of great stories about one!

    The very first thing I ever wanted to be was a librarian. At least my love of books has never disappeared.

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